Compound and Alloy
by Ballycastle-Bat
Summary: [Barry Allen x Tommy Merlyn Rarepair] When Tommy Merlyn was sixteen, he fell in love with Barry Allen. It was somewhere between their deep talks and Barry's soft touches that came while patching him after after the latest fight. Which was usually started in an attempt to rescue Barry, who was of course, attempting to rescue someone else. [Summary continued in notes]


[Notes: All of my fics are cross-posted from my AO3, so I am always slow transferring things here. Hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Barry Allen x Tommy Merlyn - Romantic ship

AU: This is an alternate-earth AU.

Summary: When Tommy Merlyn was sixteen, he fell in love with Barry Allen. It was somewhere between their deep talks and Barry's soft touches that came while patching him after after the latest fight. Which was usually started in an attempt to rescue Barry, who was of course, attempting to rescue someone else.

Senior year, tragedy strikes. Grief stricken and guilt ridden, Tommy flees north with a deep hole in his chest that he has no idea how to close. Until something in his bones tells him to return home. To see Barry again.

The next time Barry sees his old friend, years have passed with little to no contact. He looks so different, and he _is_ different in a way. Older, wiser, and his beard finally filled out, as Barry would tease him about. Tommy can't shake old feelings, but once he gets close enough to voice them, tragedy strikes, and Tommy fears he may lose one of the only friends he has left.

Warnings: Major Character Death(Oliver Queen is dead at the start of this fic), grief, stitches, fighting.

Prompts: This was originally meant to be for Barry Allen Week on tumblr but it was far too late. Prompt was "Different Powers."

Extra notes for anyone outside the US: Missouri and Illinois are in the same timezone.]

**Rush Medical Center: Chicago, IL. Uncharted Earth.**

**Time: 3:35 AM**

Thomas Merlyn sat in the unsettlingly quiet E.R. That was unusual for this time of night. He felt a bit deflated, he pulled out his cellphone and looked at the lock screen. He and his best friend (or was it former now?) showed on the screen, one arm thrown over Tommy's shoulder. Their heads leaned together. They hadn't really talked in years.

Why would they? After Tommy took off like he did while they were both grieving, he couldn't even remember the last time he spoke to Barry more than a handful of texts spread over months. It was maybe five years ago that he'd heard his voice last.

"Is that a boyfriend, Merlyn?" Betty, an older nurse in her fifties, asked with a soft smile. She had always been a bit intrusive in Tommy's love life, but everyone was. Tommy couldn't keep a relationship for more than a few days. Something in him just couldn't find himself attached to people that way, at least, not how he felt with Barry. This story isn't about Tommy Merlyn though.

It's about Barry Allen, and how Tommy fell for him. Hard. It's also about the mess he made.

Barry Allen had always been the underdog. Skinny and slim, could tell you anything you could possibly want to know about chemistry, with big glasses and clumsy limbs. Tommy had also once affectionately noted that he was one of the few people who could pull off a bowtie. He was your typical Hollywood nerd. Without the more negative stereotypes. Maybe that was why Tommy Merlyn and Oliver Queen took him under their wing.

They were the same in some ways, they'd both lost their mothers at a young age, the only difference being Barry had claimed something impossible was responsible. That, along with his strong moral compass, painted a target on his back. Kids were always cruel. Maybe Tommy protected him because it could have been him, maybe he just knew how it felt. Tommy wasn't sure, he was always impulsive as a kid.

One day, when Barry had ended up in a scuffle he had no hope of winning—especially when his glasses had been knocked to the ground—Tommy intervened. He sat with Barry while the school nurse patched him up. Later, Barry helped him with his science homework. At first, Barry had said he'd owe him one, but what started out as a settling a debt molded into a tight-knit friendship.

There were things Barry Allen just understood that Oliver, no matter how much he cared about Tommy, could never understand.

They bonded throughout high school, Barry introducing him to interests Tommy never even knew he could have. Turned out that Tommy is crazy about Mars. He loves astronomy, but Mars is his favourite.

**Central City Police Department. Central City, MO.**

**Time: 5:35 AM**

Barry, now the assistant CSI at CCPD, had many fond memories of his friend Tommy. They had confided in each other about their losses and what they wanted from the future. The two had stayed close through their high school years, Tommy repeatedly getting Barry out of many unsavoury situations, and Barry always patching him up the best he knew how right after.

Barry could still remember one night when he had to patch Tommy up. Barry remembered the evening so clearly, seeing the nasty cut on Tommy's lip and some scraped knuckles, how he had washed the dirt from Tommy's knuckles and put pressure on his cheekbone to stop the bleeding there. "Your face has a lot of vascular tissue, so it bleeds more." Barry had informed him without missing a beat.

Barry remembered how Tommy's smile was always capable of taking his breath away. "Can I get that in English, please? Not all of us can be nerds." He spoke with so much affection that Barry had an easy time letting his word choice slide.

The crime lab was silent, but he was still there, dealing with some samples as well as his own side projects. He was extremely interested in the impossible and was running some tests on a mysterious substance he found during his recent trip to Maine.

Even officer West, his best friend since childhood, had gone home for the night. She was a workaholic just like her father, though Barry loved her for it though. It was actually on Joe West's recommendation letter that he got this job in the first place, or so he'd always thought.

The crime lab door opened and within a few seconds, Iris was kissing his cheek and giving him a to-go cup of Jitters coffee. "Please don't tell me you were here all night," she sighed.

"Wow, I get coffee and a kiss? Someone is in a good mood." Barry laughed awkwardly. They'd always had a sort of banter, but Iris didn't want to play today.

Iris frowned. "I'm worried about you," she admitted, biting her lip. "You haven't been yourself. You haven't talked to me in ages." She didn't want Barry to pull back as he often did when pushed too hard.

"I was just thinking about Oliver," Barry hesitantly admitted. He didn't want Iris to worry about him staying in the past. He had done enough of that with his focus on his mother's case.

To his surprise, Iris nodded and gave him another kiss on the head, remaining close sliding her arm around his shoulders. "Oh," she sighed. "It's been about six years now, hasn't it?"

Barry just nodded his head once. "Yeah. It's just been in the back of my mind. His birthday is coming up and I was thinking about seeing if the Queens needed anything." Barry quickly shook his head and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. "Right, well, lunch today? It's my turn to treat you."

The room was silent for a few seconds. "I have class, but I will keep you posted." She seemed hesitant like she didn't want to leave, which was normal, he supposed. He couldn't think of a time that they had ever left each other in a bad state. The two had been through thick and thin since high school.

And the day they met was so clear in his memory, Barry thought Iris looked like an elven princess. She'd laughed and remarked that she'd hoped that was a compliment. They were closer than most of the people in their lives. He was sure that Iris had always known him better than Tommy did--not that he compared them.

Iris had lost her mother as well, but she seemed to have become more at peace with it than Barry. He had a killer to catch. Justice was yet to be served for his mother.

BA TM BA TM BA TM

_Once during their Junior year, Barry and Tommy were lounging on the sofa at the West house. Iris had just left her spot from where she was sitting close to Barry, legs across his lap with no care in the world , with Tommy on his other side. Where she'd vanished to, Tommy hadn't paid attention to._

_"You and Iris have a weird relationship," Tommy said._

_Barry turned his head towards him. "What do you mean?" He didn't see anything wrong with the interaction. Sure she had been sitting rather close against Barry but it wasn't weird for him in any way._

_"You're so close. Iris was sitting on you. That's weird."_

_Barry cocked a brow at him. "I mean … yes? She wasn't sitting on me but I don't know what's weird about that."_

_"Thea doesn't even sit on my lap anymore."_

_Barry laughed a little. "Okay?"_

_Tommy shrugged his shoulders. "I just can't really imagine being that touchy with someone."_

_Barry shrugged again. "It's easy for us. We were always close friends as kids." Barry remembered something in his attempt to brush off his closeness to Iris, it was natural to him. "Oh, before Joe gets home can you ask your dad if you can stay for dinner?"_

_Tommy shot him a wicked grin. "Already trying to introduce me to your father, Allen? What is this, a date?"_

_Barry's smile turned down into a frown. "I'm sorry. I didn't realise your dad was a touchy subject for you. I won't bring him up again." He made a quick pause before asking, "Are you staying?"_

_Tommy stopped. "I don't know what you mean."_

_"You always make jokes at sensitive times," Barry said as he tried to empathize with Tommy._

Tommy Merlyn sat up in his bed and looked around his tiny studio apartment. Of course, he dreamt of Barry. Not that he ever had before. He had been missing him a lot more in the last few weeks.

Something was telling him to go back to Central City, so he packed a bag and left. Just like that, in the middle of the night.

By some strange twist of fate, Tommy cut down a side road in Central while looking for a hotel. His bright high beams fell on a group of three men, who seemed to be in some kind of altercation. He brought the car to a screeching stop, close to the group, which gave them a bit of a scare as they jumped back. Tommy stepped out, squinting into the night.

The first thing that came into focus was the unmistakable form of Barry Allen. Of course . He sighed. He'd only been in town a few minutes and he found Barry in the middle of a fight. "Barry, get in the car." He huffed, slammed the door behind him, throwing himself into the fight full force. It was as easy as breathing, throwing himself between Barry and a problem was still so second nature to him, even after being apart for so many years.

Barry was confused, but he decided not to take chances and dove under one of the guys, subconsciously trusting Tommy. He watched through the windshield as Tommy got into the scuffle, fists flying all over the place; he had a hard time tracking the situation.

When Tommy returned to the car he floored it into reverse. "Are you okay?" he asked, breathing ragged.

Barry was too high on adrenaline to access the damage. He slowly caught his breath, but remained unsure of what to say. "What brings you to town?"

"Would you believe me if I said you ?" Tommy glanced at him briefly before his eyes snapped back to the road.

He sat on the question for a few seconds too long. "No."

Tommy managed to get Barry back to his apartment, and to his surprise, Barry allowed him inside. It was more of a "Are you coming in, or not?" but that was still an invitation. Tommy moved around to his trunk and grabbed his medical bag. He followed Barry upstairs to the tiny apartment.

The kitchen and dining area were in one small room, beside a living room area with a small loveseat and a television. Nothing in this apartment felt lived in. It wasn't like Barry's room in high school that had a million things hanging on the room and trinkets on the shelves.

"Where's your Bigfoot footprint?"

Barry shrugged. "It's at Joe's."

"And he didn't throw it out?"

"No."

"Well, are you going to let me take a look at your face?" He set his medibag on the kitchen table.

"I don't know what you can do, but sure. Have a look." He huffed and dropped his messenger bag on the table beside the medibag before collapsing into the chair.

Tommy looked at the patch on his bag. He gestured to the swatch of rainbow, it was hard to miss, the flag patch with the bisexual symbol inside was blatant. "This why those guys were beating up on you?"

Barry didn't say anything.

Tommy sat down across from him, starting to assess the damage. There was a thin gash on his left cheek. Gently turning his face made him wince. "Is that a yes? What happened, Barr?"

Barry's eyes narrowed, not in anger but in scrutiny. He desperately searched for an angle or some sort of hint that Tommy was messing around. His heart pounded against his chest as he tried to figure out what was going on. The adrenaline hadn't left his blood yet which didn't help his strong desire to rush out the door of his own apartment.

"They were beating up on some kid on his way home." Barry began. "Wanted his wallet, I intervened, they wanted to know what I was going to do about it, so I ended up figthing them."

Tommy heaved a heavy sigh and turned to open his bag. " Of course you did ." That was typical Barry, throwing himself into the first signs of injustice. "How come you never told me?" his voice was casual. "About that." He nodded to the bag before pulling out an instant cold pack. When it was ready, he carefully pressed it to Barry's face.

Barry winced as he felt the cold on the newly forming bruise. "You were bigger than me."

"_Were_?" Tommy teased, but then grew serious when Barry glared.

"What? Do you really think I would have beaten you up or something?" He wasn't sure what to make of that, especially considering how close they were. Didn't Barry just know?

There were always things Barry knew that Tommy never had to say. When Tommy was anxious, or when he was tired. Barry just knew . He was so sure other things were obvious too, like his feelings.

Barry shrugged his shoulders. "Only Iris knew for a while."

Tommy nodded in understanding. "I'm Bi, but I never really … came out. It's hard to come out when you don't have anyone in your life." He gave one half-hearted laugh. "I wasn't really pursuing anyone either. So it never … came up. Is that weird?"

"No, it's not weird." Barry looked away, but a firm hand guided him to look forward again.

"If you look down I won't be able to stitch this right," his tone annoyed.

"Don't give me a tone. I'm the one who gets to be mad at you." Barry nearly spat. "You barely text me for five years? But I'm still your screen saver. Also, why do you have a medical kit with you?"

Hands, steadied with time and practice began to wipe down the area around the slice in Barry's eyebrow. "This is pretty bad." Barry made a slight hiss as Tommy applied a numbing agent; the action stung which was expected. "So, what I'm going to do, is give you four stitches here. Unless you want me to take you to a plastic surgeon?"

"I don't want a plastic surgeon touching me," Barry quipped. "What makes you assume I can afford that anyway?"

Tommy stopped and leaned back a little. "Then let me stitch this up, okay? Then you can yell at me or whatever you're going to do."

Barry crossed his arms but turned his head so Tommy had better access to the gash. It was going to be a long night, and he didn't want to be arguing for most of it. So he shut up for now.

Barry registered only touch and tugging as Tommy cleaned up the wound. It took all of ten minutes. "You're finished, there. Now you can get pissed at me." The impish grin Tommy shot Barry with the words that didn't help things.

"Where have you been?"

"Chicago."

"For what?"

"Medical school, I'm in Emergency Medicine. Just finished my residency."

Barry stared at him. "I knew that," he said, the admission coming easier than he expected. "Wanted to see if you would lie."

Tommy leaned back in his chair slightly. "How did you know that?"

"I just checked your name once in a while to make sure you weren't dead," he said. His tone was almost defensive as he moved through to the kitchen. "Do you want some coffee? I'm running on empty."

Tommy nodded once. "Sure, thanks Barr." His lips turned up in a slight smile.

Barry went over to the coffee maker, trying to avoid looking at Tommy. The room fell silent once Barry caught Tommy staring at him. Barry hadn't changed at all, and Tommy could see that clearly. He was still that sweet nerd with a really strong moral compass. He was still everything he was before, it seemed. Tommy was a little amused at Barry's ability to hold a grudge still being there, even if he did feel bad about the situation.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Tommy shrugged his shoulders. He didn't know what to say. So he said the first thing that came to mind. "It's just kind of nice to know that some things never change."

"I'm guessing you've changed?" Barry huffed. "I can't see it."

"They don't exactly let impulsive idiots slice and dice."

Barry snorted. "Did you really just call your job _slicing and dicing_? You haven't changed at all. Kudos on the self-awareness though." When the coffee was finished brewing, he passed Tommy a mug but stayed leaned up against the counter with his own.

"Are you a CSI now?" Tommy nodded to Barry's badge.

"Ugh, no." He rolled his eyes. "I'm just an assistant."

Tommy crossed the room to stand beside him. "You sound disappointed with that."

"It's just kind of frustrating," he admitted. "I love my job, really I do. I just wonder if I'm doing anything with my degree, or helping people like I wanted. I graduated early, with honors and I've been working there for about three years. I'm the only person in my section so I get the lab to myself but I'm doing most of the work and only getting paid an assistant's salary--why am I telling you this?"

"You missed me." Tommy grinned triumphantly.

Barry scoffed and moved to the sink to set his mug in it. "Typical." He knew Tommy always chose the option to joke when things got too tense or uncomfortable. He just couldn't take it at the moment, not when everything was so fresh again.

"What?"

"You left me, Tommy. After Ollie's funeral. I was crying, and I asked you to stay with me and you just took off. Of course, I fucking missed you, asshole. I couldn't just pull out my dad's credit card and get the first flight to Chicago. I was here, someone had to be there for Thea. Someone had to be there for Laurel, and Sara."

"Hey, I was just--"

"So don't you dare sit here and act all miffed that I missed you." Barry shrugged away when Tommy tried to place his hand on his shoulder. "I missed you every day for years . Every birthday, every fucking time Oliver's death date rolled around I was wondering where our best friend was when I visited his grave with Laurel-- so don't--"

Tommy sighed, slowly dropping his hand from the air. "I was a coward, I'm sorry."

Barry sighed and rubbed his face. "Why are you in town? Why now?"

A silence hung between them, making the air feel heavy. "I don't know," the confession rolled smoothly. "I started dreaming about you, and I don't know-- something told me to find you." his eyes fell on Barry. "I wasn't lying when I said you were the reason I was here."

Barry crossed his arms. "Whatever."

"I'm being honest. I had a dream the other night, about when I was complaining about how close you and Iris were." He didn't know what he could say to make Barry trust him again; if that was even possible.

Barry turned around to wash his mug. "You can stay here, but I'm going to bed." He headed across the room to a closet and pulled out a blanket and a pillow. He dropped them onto the sofa. "Goodnight, Tommy."

"Night, Barr." Tommy stood in the kitchen, taking another look around the apartment. While he knew Barry had changed a lot in the last few years, this apartment didn't have a single hint of Barry. It made him sad in a way, and he wondered what kind of life Barry was living now. He was just going to have to find out.


End file.
